As most of you probably know, I adopted a puppy last week from the shelter. He is a very sweet and playful puppy, but when he gets excited he tends to get a red rocket. Not just a little red rocket, but a gamongous boner. Now I can deal with seeing his tube of lipstick, but what I can't deal with is my father commenting on it.
It is just really awkward hearing your father joke about dog boners. It just brings unpleasant things to mind. Especially after you accidentally stumbled upon your parents secret stash of KY Jelly Warming Sensations last week while looking in their bookshelf for a Grisham book (the experience left me with no desire to read, but with a raging desire to rip out my eyeballs after seeing....that).
It's bad enough that the president wears a banana hammock and makes boner jokes. But I did not need to stumble upon the aforementioned item above. I need a job soon or else I am going to need serious therapy from this stint living at home.
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