911...What's Your Emergency?

Ah....the adventures of Big and Tasty continue.

Scene: Will's Bedroom, Tuesday night, 11:30 P.M.

So I'm laying in my bed on Tuesday night on Sporcle, close to midnight, and I hear the doorbell ring. Immediately I think to myself, "What in the hell? It's those damn neighborhood kids again." Followed closely by thoughts of realizing that we have no "damn neighborhood kids" in my subdivision so someone must be at my door. I'm fumbling around for shorts and a t-shirt to go downstairs before my parents wake up and then the dog starts to bark.

As I enter the foyer, I flip on the light, I'm kind of out of it, and I look through the window and don't see anyone. Then the nice police officer on our front step moves a bit, scares me to death, and I open the door.

Will: "Good evening, Officer."
Cobb County PD: "Yes, hello, we received a 911 call from this address."
W: "What? No way...my parents are in bed, and I've been upstairs."
PD: (Looks at me like A: I'm a 25 year old prank caller, B: I'm a robber who is answering the door and lying about the call, and C: Like I'm stupid, clearly someone called 911) "Well, we got the call. Is everyone ok?"
W: "Well, I guess it could be my grandmother"
PD: "Is she ok?"
W: "I don't know."
PD: "Well, we need to check."
W: "Well, OK."

As we enter the house to walk to my grandma's room where I can see the light is on and can hear the TV, my mother walks out in her robe and pajamas obviously having just awakened. To see me followed by a cop with his flashlight out and on. "What is going on?" "Well, Mom...apparently Grandmother called the police."

Knock, knock. "Yes?" I open the door. B&T is stretched out on her bed, feet up, watching TV. "Are you OK?" "Yes, I'm fine. What's wrong?" "The police are here, they said you called 911." "Oh, no, I haven't touched my phone." "Where is it?" "On the hook." It wasn't, it was in her bed. "Where is your Medic Alert button?" "The bathroom?" "Did you roll over on your phone and hit the 911 button?" "Heavens no! I haven't touched my phone ALL NIGHT." "Well, the police are here." "Well, oh my. Did they bring the whole kit and caboodle?" "No, it is just one officer." My mother asks the officer where the 911 call came from. He radios in and gets the number which comes from my grandmother's private extension. It is the ONLY phone in the house that can call from the number. Clearly, she accidentally dialed 911 but refuses to fess up to the possibility it happened. (Aside...her factual-based explanation comes later).

At this point, my dad FINALLY wakes up even after my mother has left their bedroom and is conversing with the cop, my grandma, and me in the hallway. He opens the door (in true Davis fashion in his underwear and a v-neck undershirt), "Can you all please go have your social hour somewhere else? Some of us have to work in the morning?!" "Dad, the cops are here. Grandma accidentally called 911." "Oh, well I didn't know that. Good night." Door shut.

I walk the cop to the door, embarrassed and very apologetic. He was NOT laughing and did seem to find any humor in the situation but lord knows how many of the elderly do this. He said he just had to check, and I'm sure the image in his head was as follows:



So tonight, at church dinner, I learn the following points as we are talking to our family friends. This is the THIRD time my grandmother has accidentally done this. Either, she needs a rotary phone you can't roll over, a phone without a direct to 911 button, or we have to take her phone away like a 16-year old. Second, my mom was talking to her today and this was my grandmother's excuse, "I guess a bug must have called across it." My mom simply nodded her head. A bug!! A bug!! What kind of bug has the weight to push down a phone button!!! Oh, my grandma must have let her African Hissing Cockroach out of its cage so it could call up its friends at the Cobb County PD.



I only hope when I'm old, my grandkids can have these stories to tell about me. Except my nickname will probably be Meatball Sub.